11 oct. 2018

Mindfulness and tantric massages

Disclaimer: this article is a translation of the following onein French. English is not my mother tongue, so you can refer to the French version in case of incorrect wordings. However comments that help me to correct mistakes are welcome.

Summary

This article shows that, even if the two domains are by nature very different, tantric massages and mindfulness meditation have strong common points. We will see how findings from mindfulness meditation could help for a better understandings of the way tantric massages really works and how practices could evolve.

I) Tantric massages

Tantric massages are frequently ignored or victim of a negative perceptions. This is partly due to the age of tantra that has evolved into many flavours. This is also due to some massage institute that might use the word tantra to hide some activities close to prostitution.
This is no unique and universal definition of a tantric massage. However, the following description will give a quite fair representation of it.
  • First of all, a tantric massage is a long massage (around 90 minutes or more) which will bring a real break and a deep relaxation
  • The tantric massage is a massage of the full body. It is sensual with alternance of light touching and deeper and stronger touching.  It is significantly different from sport massages or therapeutic massages that are more intensive and more focus on some areas.
  • The tantric massage _might_ include sexual areas since very sensitive areas ; this will be done in continuity of the massage.
  • It _might also not include_ those areas or include them in a limited manner. It is key to not go against any personal, moral or cultural rules.
  • The general goal is to create a feeling of wellness (or pleasure or energy according to the way each one feels it), to make it grow and  to spread it into the full body (by opposition to staying locally).
  • Last, it remains a massage with a receiver and a donor (the masseur) without any kind of favour for the donor.

All the ones who have tried tantric massages can testify of the real and great wellness produced by them. Three main factors (among other ones) could explain it.
  • A large break which allows our brain to forget all other problems and to focus on the present moment
  • Time for reconnecting with our own body, for visiting it. Considering the body for itself that is part of ourselves and not just a visual object.
  • Production of hormones (especially Oxytocin) as the result to the physical handling.
You can find many additional information in the articles (mainly in French) of this blog

II) Mindfulness meditation in short

It is virtually impossible to summarise in few words what is a so vast field such as mindfulness.
Meditation is a very ancient activity, brought forward by several religions, and especially buddhism.
Precursors of mindfulness have studied in a scientific and medical way the effects of meditation on the human body and on the brain. The firsts results having been positive, those first studies have lead to many more works and the opening of several institutes. Some therapies have been defined in order to address some diseases or to simply support the most serious ones. There are known under the name of Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). Actually, many studies have shown that meditation help the body to fight against diseases even when meditation is not a cure by itself.
Mindfullness has also brought personal practice so that every one can get advantages of meditation. One of the best known program is the   Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).
It is key to see that Mindfulness is a you field (the first studies are about 40 years old) et that is a fast growing domain  as a research topic, in its introduction in usual medical structure (hospital ...) and as an is individual practice.
Mindfulness meditation is sometimes called laic meditation. It is not opposed to religious meditation (buddhist monks are frequently part of those studies) but deeply independent from any religion (orthogonal could say a mathematician) 

III) The limit of a comparison between MF and Tantric Massages 

Just to be clear, a comparison between tantric massages and Mindfulness has implicit limitations as Tantric Massage and Mindfulness are very different in their essence.
If we could compared them with astronomical objects, Mindfulness would be the size of a star when Tantric Massage is more of the size of a planet or a comet.

* Scope 

Mindfulness scope is huge. Its benefits could virtually help anyone, either in daily life or during medical events.
For good or bad reasons, only few people feel concerned by Tantric Massage, and even if there are true positive effects, benefits are not as deep Mindfulness ones and they do not last so long.

* Way of practicing   

Mindfulness requires ideally a daily practice with an important dedicated time. It can occasionally be done as an addition to an other activity (mindful walk,ing mindful eating ...) even if this way of practicing is less efficient. 
Even is learning is usually done by group, meditation is mainly done alone.
In contrast, Tantric Massage requires of course two persons, a masseur and a massaged, Furthermore, the frequency is significantly lower (typically one massage every few weeks or few months).

* The role of the brain

Mindfulness aims to develop and reshape deeply the brain activities based on daily exercices.  Compassion, openness and control of emotions are typical achievements that meditators are looking for.
In a different way, Tantric Massage helps mainly to have a better connection with the body, to increase self estime, but there is no direct influence on the brain.  As a matter of fact, the brain is not really active during a Tantric Massage and it acts mainly as an observer.

* The body and the sex  

As far as I know, Mindfulness does not deal with the question of the body wellness and more specifically the question of sex (or , at least, this is very rare). My assumption is that it comes partially from the buddhist origins of meditation (monks are supposed to be chaste) or the fear that sexuality questions could damage the image of Mindfulness in well known American institute.
In Tantric Massage body and sexual organs are fully addressed in a simple and direct way. Sex is not ignored (unless a specific request) but just seen as part of the body.

IV) Links between mindfulness and tantra  

Even if Mindfulness and Tantric Massage are by nature very different, we will see that they share many similarities.

* A response to interfering ideas  

Tantric massages and Mindfulness share the same basic observation. The human brain is usually overloaded of secondaries ideas or thinkings, some of them being non conscious and potentially source of negative feelings and sometimes real pains. 
Even if the way of operating is different, Mindfulness and Tantric Massage have a similar answer. They propose to start by focusing on the present moment. During a Tantric Massage, the focus should be towards the feelings and sensations generated by the massage. Mindfulness requires to be able to act as an observer regarding actions or feelings. Mindfulness teaches that interior voices or negative feelings should be watched and accepted in order to control them by opposition to be controlled by them.

* Be present ; do not look at the future 

Another key common point between tantric massages and Mindfulness is the importante of focusing on the present moment.
Mindfulness, but also buddhism , insists deeply in the anchoring in the present either when for actions or for ideas. Uncertainty about the future is so big and take a so big place in our mind that we forget to live in the present.
In the same way, in a Tantric Massage, it is key to focus on the instant sensations. A Tantric Massage is a kind of parenthesis out of the daily life. Inside this bubble, one should not ask himself : "what is going to happen next" "How I am going to be massaged" because it means that the brain is active and we are not present anymore in the massage. This is why it is key to stay focused on the body and its reaction to the massage.
This concept of giving up with all the parasitic thoughts is frequently called "letting go" (both in Mindfulness and in Tantric Massages).

* Recognise and Honour your Body

The body plays a key role in Mindfulness. He is the starting point of many meditation. In normal life, the body is frequently ignored and this is why it is so important to enter again in connection with the body. It is also a way to recognise his role.
No need to explain that the body is at the core of Tantric Massage. Tantric Massage can be seen as a nice and big present done by the mind to the body.

* Accepting without judgment

To be able to accept without judging is another pillar of Mindfulness. It is a mental attitude which addresses both our internal thoughts and our attitude with people. Being able to accept is a key step in order to develop empathy, compassion ; it allows to be less reactive and to be able to step back and take some distance with either internal feelings or potential conflicts. 
Accepting without judgement is also key in Tantric Massage. During a massage, it means opens to  all the messages coming from the body and accept them with curiosity. Accepting without judgment is also useful in the preparation of the massage: one is indeed going to have body contacts which can be quite intimate with someone being a kind of stranger and this requires to put aside the label one can attach to such contacts. Of course, accepting without judgement does not mean accepting anything. Anything which is unpleasant or uncomfortable is naturally excluded from the massage.  

* Breathing  

Mindfulness and Tantric Massage emphase both the importance of breathing.
In Mindfulness, be conscious of the breathing is very often one of the first meditation exercices: breathing quietly, paying attention to the breathing bring a lot of advantage: lowering the stress (by opposition to a person in a stress situation who might block his breath), getting a kind of peace feeing and calming our body down.
Tantric Massage also insist on the importance of creating. Some masseurs sometimes start a session with basic breathing exercice which offers at the same time a smooth transition between daily activities and the massage and a way to establish a first contact. During the massage, the massaged person is invited to keep on paying attention to the breathing in order to focus on the present moment and to let the body relax.

* Accepting to loose control  

In Mindfulness, it is clear that out willingness of controlling everything is one of the most important source of stress. A good way to relax is just to accept that we do not control all parameters. We have to learn to accept that the future owns a part of uncertainty. 
During a Tantric Massage, the massaged person has to accept to give, during the duration of the massage, the control to the masseur. Being able to abandon this control in a trustful manner is even a central point for a successful Tantric Massage.

* Not having objectives.  

Mindfulness insists on the fact that meditation should not be done with precise objectives. Meditation is firstly an observation act. It would be useless (and even conter-productive) to expect from a meditation an immediate benefit such as being less stressed or being more relax. Stress reduction and relaxation will come with meditations of course, but it is more a side effect of a successful meditation and not a goal by itself.
The situation is almost identical with a Tantric Massage. One should be in the present moment and observe all the feelings coming from the body hater than having objectives that mean that the mind will be oriented to the futur. All questions such as "what is going to happen" "what is he going to do next" "what am I going to feel" "Am I going to have pleasure" are conter productive as they prevent to pay attention to what is actually happening at the present moment.

* Body scan   

Today scan is one of the first exercise during meditation trainings. The goal is to drive the attention towards all the different parts of the body by stopping at each one in order to be well aware of all the feelings and perceptions in that part. Those sensations could be internal (a pain ...) or external (contact with the environment, temperature ...). This body scan is frequently lead by a voice (direct or recorded) that will give the tempo of the scan and that will bring the attention back to the body when the mind flies away.
Tantric Massage can be seen as a long body scan where the voice has been replaced by the hand. The role of the massaged person becomes easier as it is just matter of staying focus on what the hands are doing and what are the feelings.
A tantric massage could be considered as an "assisted body scan"

* Absence of a reference system  

Mindfulness is mainly based on scientific observations of ancient practices. It is independent of any belief or religion or assumption. In order to meditate, one do not need to accept or believe in any external rules.
The world of Tantric Massage is more complex because it is deeply disperses. There are many value systems and beliefs in the documentations or trainings on Tantric Massages. However, there is no need at all to believe in anything in order to receive a massage. In the worst cases, there might be some kind of weird rituals at the beginning.

V) How mindfulness could bring some evolutions in tantric massages.

I do not see Tantric Massage as having real scientific or medical foundations, except some very ancient oriental culture. Most of the rules come from accumulated experience during centuries and transmitted in a very fragmented way.
Therefore, knowing that shared points are quite numerous, why not trying to attach Tantric Massage more in Mindfulness. This is the goal of this section that should be seen as free thinking around this point.

* First contact phase

In Tantric Massage, the phase of first contact is very dependent between masseurs. Some of them improvise based on the attitude of the visitor ; some starts with a well defined ritual ; some other start with some breathing exercice.
How the first contact phase should be with a Mindfulness approach ?
* Breathing exercices should be kept without doubt. However, the exact position is not so important.
* Perhaps could we imagine some exercices allowing to direct the attention on some real element of the room (music, candles or other lights, odors…)
* The first contacts with the hands may also come with verbal instruction, here again in order to train the attention to focus on what is happening

* The preliminary discussion 

Most of the Tantric Massages start with a first talk that let one express his expectations or fear. This discussion usually happens before that the real massage session starts.
With a Mindfulness approach, we could think at having the discussion just after the first exercice. It could help the discussion to happen in a more quiet moment ; furthermore, the client would be already somehow connected to his body and could be more conscious of his body.
One important drawback is it does not allow to switch the brain off as we used to do in a tantric massage. Entering in a discussion mode means fully activating the brain.

* The role of the masseur 

Mindfulness invite for each one of us to develop the capacity to listen to other ones and to be open to all their feelings without judgement. This is the basic to develop the empathy as a first step to the compassion.
A tantric masseur is also totally oriented in the direction of the person receiving the massage. All masseurs have developed this ability to listen and to feel how the massaged body react.
Here Mindfulness could bring more tool and more trainings in order for the masseur to improve his openness 

* Silence or speaking 

Both Mindfulness and Tantric Massage put high value on silence and quietness that are needed for an introspection.
In the case of Tantric Massage, the silence is replaced by a light music (silence can sometimes generate stress) and the masseur usually speak as less as possible during the massage.
Based on Mindfulness teachings, maybe the masseur could speak more often in order to focus the attention on specific areas or on specific feelings with of course still some large moments of silence.

* Moving away from ancient believes 

No need to accept or to believe in any value system in order to get benefit of a Tantric Massage. However, if you are looking for the way tantric massages works, you might find a lot of references to ancient Hindu believes and and intensive use of Sanskrit words which create a sense of magic knowledge for some happy few.

One of the consequence of moving Tantric Massage towards Mindfulness would be to forget all mystic roots.

Just to be clear: we must not throw out the baby with the bath wate; most of the learning about Tantric Massage should be kept as they are the result of centuries of experience and observation.
This can be illustrated with a simple example: let's imagine some specific touches supposed to open the chakras. Those touches should be kept as part of a Tantric Massage, even if Chakras do not exist.

* Being more open to emotions 

Recent studies have shown that Mindfulness could help to open to a wide range of emotions that can be classified into the following families: Perception, Somatic, Humors, sense of one' self, , cognition, sociability and willing.
At first sight, we might thing that Tantric Massage will address only perceptions. In fact Tantric Massage goes far beyond the simple perception.
For example, Tantric Massage massage can also generated some somatic emotions. Indeed, the ability to deeply relax the body can release some tensions in the body that were only tensions in the mind. In a more general way, learning to listen to the body helps to detect somatic symptoms.
Then, it happens that Tantric Massages help mood and feelings to express themselves. Indeed, being relaxed, giving up control and thinkings allow inner feelings to be expressed more easily. We see sometimes at the end of a massage, someone starting to cry, even if he is happy, or to speak a lot, even if he is usually very quiet. It simply comes from the fact that, during the massage, one starts to lower his mental barriers in order to let sensations and wellness fill his mind and his body.
Going in the direction of Mindfulness would mean here that we should make the massaged person aware of those feelings. Without trying to direct him, letting him being mindful to those emotions.

* Managing the energy

The question of energy or pleasure is not, to the best of my knowledge, directly addressed by Mindfulness. As a consequence, this theme is quite open.
Most of the teachings around Tantra speak about Kundalini, a kind of energy coiled as a snake at the base of the spine though science or medicine have never found any kind of snake or a source of energy in the pelvis. However, even if Kundalini is not something concrete, all people that have received a tantric massage car testified of what they do have felt.
Let's forget the word Kundalini itself and let's focus of what people have actually felt: wellness, relaxation, warmness, delight, pleasure, arousal or sometime orgasm. Each one can pick the word which is the closer to his experience. Here, we will use the word energy.
The role of the masseur is going to create (or awake) this energy and to let it grow in the whole body and to bring the attention on it. Instead of words and sentence, tantric masseurs will use their hands as a tool to capture the attention with slight changes in the pressure, in the motion or in the rhythm.
There is another advantage of bringing more consciousnes in that energy: growth of pleasure can be observed and somehow controlled in order to avoid sudden and unwanted orgasm. However, control should not be considered as absolute goal and an orgasm is welcome if it comes naturally.
White tantra approaches are certainly the closest ones to MF since they implies a strong awareness and consciousness of the growth of pleasure.

What can we say about the other kind of massages 

Can we really say that all connections between Mindfulness and massages are specific to Tantric Massage ? Certainly not.
We do not want to answer on behalf of all the professionals of each kind of massage and we let them conduct their own analysis. We can however, draw some basic conclusions.
As a matter of fact, any massage brings somehow a deep moment of wellness and disconnection from the daily life. This is an opportunity to focus our attention on our body.
We can already say that all massages that address the body in its totality, specifically when they are based on softness and sensuality (typically holistic massages or ayurvedic massages), could bring some benefits similar to Tantric Massage. We can find in those massage most of the principles discussed here: disconnection, focus on the body, express a kind of gratitude to this body, being able to receive without expectations ....
However, therapeutic massages or massages that deal only with part of the body will not bring a full connection to be body. In a similar way, short massages (20 or 30 min) do not offer real disconnection with the daily life. Unless being strongly trained, it is hard to disconnect the brain in a so short period of time.
At the end, what really matters is the attitude of the masseur and his willingness to construct his massage with a Mindfulness approach.

Conclusion 

We have seen through many examples the strong links between Mindfulness and Tantric Massages, and, how Tantric Massage could benefit from a Mindfulness approach.
Of course, those links as presented here could appear as subjective and this is why comments and opinions are very welcome here.
We can summarise and illustrate all those links with 2 simple questions:
1) Can we see a Tantric Massage as a first step to Mindfulness ?
2) Is a trantic massage one of the most natural way for an adept of meditation to receive a massage ?
On the first question, the answer is probably yes. Entering in a Mindfulness development implies a strong willingness and an active action. A Tantric Massage allows someone to discover Mindfulness in a passive way. He is going to be guided by the masseur and he has no conscious work to do. At the end of the massage, we can explain him that he has experimented an Mindfulness experience . A kind of assisted meditation somehow.
The second question  is fully legitimate since the adapts of meditation might also receive massages from time to time. I am convinced that Mindfulness is the kind of massage which is the closest to the Mindfulness principles (focus on the body, switching the brain off, being open to feelings and emotions ...).
Is it really a surprise to see that Tantric Massages and Mindfulness have many similar roots ? Not at all, as both have the same origins in ancient India.

References

There are hundreds and thousands of references on Mindfulness. Here you will find only a very few interesting examples.
Note: those references are coming from the French version of the article. I have not do the effort of searching for English version of those references (so far).

Livres 

  • Jon Kabat-Zin et Richard Davidson font partie des pionniers de la MPC et sont les auteurs de nombreux ouvrages. 
    " L'esprit est son propre médecin " est l'un d'entre eux, disponible en édition de poche. 
  • Christophe André, psychiatre, a largement contribué à introduire la MPC en France. Il a écrit près d'une trentaine de livres.   
    " Méditer, jour après jour : 25 leçons pour vivre en pleine conscience " est l'un des plus connus. 
  • Olivier Raurich auteur également de plusieurs ouvrages propose une approche scientifique des mécanismes en oeuvre dans la méditation dans son livre " Science, Méditation et Pleine conscience " 
  • Edel Maex: "Apprivoiser le stress par la pleine conscience".  Un petit livre très simple d'un des pionniers de la pleine conscience.

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